Friday 15 February 2008

The lengths we go to to construct tenuous puns...

The Twaddle HQ's grounds, as you may be aware, are vast. In addition to the HQ itself we have a number of satellite outbuildings, each with its own specific function.

Obviously, we have a kennel for the Hounds of Love—the Kennel of Love. We were only supposed to be looking after them for Kate Bush for a couple of months (while the Futureheads were busy filming their own cartoon), but she still hasn't been back round to pick them up. We think she might've got distracted in the meantime, trying to recite the digits of Ď€. So anyway, the Hounds' Portakennel became a permanent fixture.

We've also got a mini-village–type thing for the beloved El Twad HQ dinnerladies. It currently holds the European record for “most restaurants per head of population”.


Just recently, we unveiled the latest addition (though we're not entirely sure to whom we unveiled it—while conducting the ceremony, Terry Wogan seemed understandably bemused; mind, he usually looks similarly bemused during Children in Need)—our own, purpose-built, private cinema.

We've got it rigged up to play a non-stop 24-hour-a-day mix of A Fish Called Wanda, Monty Python (about 75% of which consists of the Parrot Sketch; much of the remainder is taken up by the Lumberjack Song, and the rest is just the phrase “he's not the Messiah—he's a very naughty boy” on a loop ...interrupted at random intervals by the Spanish Inquisition), and a plethora of warm-natured BBC travelogues.


We call it the Palin-drome.

Ba-dum-tsh!