I received an Easter egg last April/March/month which Paganism defines as Christ's death/rebirth, which was very nice. Tasty and such. Looking for the token 3-question crossword or dot-to-dot puzzle on the back, I was sad to find a lot of text and a series of surreal drawings of miscellaneous animals enjoying a messy picnic. The words explained the eerie goings on:
George [dragonfly] is flying to Richard's [rabbit] house because today is the day of the Maltesers Meadow Round Picnic. Everyone has been busy for days making round things to eat and drink.At the Round Picnic everything has to be shaped like a ball.
Richard thinks that Round Picnics are the best because all the food rolls all over the plates and the picnic rug and everywhere.
George is really excited because it's quite windy today so the Round Picnic is going to be even more fun when the wind makes all the food roll even faster and further!
Only now, do I realise as I type this word right here, that this is shameless self-promotion for Maltesers themselves. I'd failed to negotiate the link earlier as I'd devoured the innards of the cardboard cocoa plant sarcophagus in a matter of seconds.
Regardless, what the hell is Mars playing at? What round food is there, and why would you actively encourage children to eat it - on PLATES - on a FIELD - with ANIMALS?
You know what comes in round form? Horse sedatives. And Persil tablets. What would you do if your child was chasing ketamine across a windy field having had the hors d'oeuvres of biological washing liquid already? Easter egg manufacturers: stick to shit quizzes. Please.
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